Hi all! I thought I would take the time to share a little something again this week. I have loved sharing the stories of so many people so far. No two stories are the same. Some people have felt God speaking to them through His word, His provision, or His creation. They have felt God speak to them through their joy, their troubles, and their grief. The many ways that God speaks to us is as diverse as His creation itself.
The Hope Hour stories, to me at least, are an encouragement that God is on the move in so many different and often unseen ways.
My life has changed significantly over the last few years. It has allowed a lot of time for reflection and introspection. Being completely honest, the times of change have also meant times of confusion and doubt too. I have questioned if the decisions I have made have been the right ones and if I have made them at the right time. I have wanted to follow faithfully and, yet, I have not always been certain that I am.
At times like this, I think of the great Biblical characters we learn from and wonder if they felt doubt too. Noah seemed to persevere, sure of his orders, despite what others thought. Moses might have doubted his own abilities but he never doubted that God had spoken to him. How can I be sure that I have heard correctly? I often wish I could write to God so that I can have his explicit instruction to refer back to.
The other night it had gotten quite late, about 9pm, and yet I had this feeling that God still had something for me; some way that he was going to speak to me. I find mind maps helpful and so I put a large piece of paper on my door. I picked up a highlighter (because, you know, coloured pens are prettier) and some of the thoughts that had been bubbling away behind the surface came together in a neatly composed diagram on the page in front of me. It was as if God had collated all these thoughts and showed me how they connected together. As if He showed me how all of these things that had been bouncing around in the back of my brain had a purpose: His purpose.
How do I know this came from God? I just know. That's probably unhelpful, sorry. The best way that I can explain it is that I don't feel like those thoughts, those ideas, or the connection made between them came from me. As my hand moved across the page, it felt like the contents were being revealed to me rather than coming from me. I compare the experience to all those times when I have had questions, or doubts, and think about how different the experiences where I "just know" are. I feel confident and assured (perhaps because I think it comes from the Almighty, rather than little, old me!). It makes me worry less about the times when I don't know. If God really wants me to know something then I have proven experience that he'll show me. In the meantime, I can just follow Jesus' command to love God and love one another and trust that, in the great words of Julian of Norwich, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well".
Thank you all so much for reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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Until next week,
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